Why Do Bad Things Happen To Me?

Woman sitting alone at a table holding her head in her hand

Many clients ask me this question, “Why do bad things happen to me?” It’s an understandable question in that often there are difficult challenges occurring in their lives, sometimes even tragic situations. Yet let’s take a look at this question and why it might be part of the problem or keeping us from solving the problem. Do bad things happen to us or do they just happen? Quick answer, they just happen. Bad things happen and not just to you, but rather in life. When we decide to label these situations as personal to us, it feels like a personal attack versus a relatively normal, albeit negative event.

Why personalize something that isn’t personal? Why make a tough situation even tougher? When our mindset is focused on the supposed black cloud over our head, then we can only focus on the black cloud. What if instead we thought, “This situation sucks. What do I need to do to manage it or improve it?” The black cloud response makes us feel like a helpless victim versus the second response, which leads us to acknowledging our negative feelings while also owning our power to change things.

Do bad things happen to us or do they just happen? Quick answer, they just happen. #negativity #hardship #perspective Click To Tweet

Sometimes you may not be able to change a situation, but you are able to change how you view that situation. I’m not suggesting a “turn that frown upside down” mindset, but rather a “How can I view this situation in a way that empowers me or allows me to address it in a healthy way?” Looking at anything from a “Why me?” perspective is an understandable first response, but probably not a productive one for the long haul. If, for example, you received a devastating medical diagnosis, that would be a reasonable first response. But ultimately, action is in order. We need a different mindset to take action.

So check in with yourself and take notice when you are making yourself the victim of your own story. Then ask yourself how that is helping you to improve your situation. Bad things aren’t happening to you, but rather just happening. You get to decide how to respond to them. That decision can mean all the difference in the world.


Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. CPC

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC

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Smart Women, Inspired Lives: How to Be Happy & Confident

by Dr. Lisa Kaplin
Do you long for more energy? Do you wish you could walk into any room and feel happy and confident? Do you simply want to enjoy your life more – personally and professionally? You can. Too many women today are doing more, but feeling less satisfied. Life doesn’t have to be that way. With small tweaks and simple strategies, you can enjoy a great life with soaring self-confidence, a good sense of well-being, and plenty of laughter. This easy-to-read yet profoundly impactful book will be all you need to join the tribe of smart women living inspired lives. Your life gets better right now.

About Lisa Kaplin, Psy. D, PCC

headshot of Lisa KaplinCertified Life Coach and Psychologist at Smart Women Inspired Lives.

I’m the proud owner of Smart Women Inspired Lives, where I help overwhelmed and exhausted women move from the feeling of being “stuck” into a life filled with calm, confidence, and joy. In addition to the posts and articles I write, I offer individual and group life coaching sessions, classes and speaking engagement opportunities.


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Don’t Let Stress Control Your Life

Stress is literally killing us. It is physically debilitating, emotionally exhausting, and a true relationship destroyer. Much of the common stress reduction advice is superficial and at best a Band-Aid. Lisa’s tried and true approach to permanent stress reduction has changed many of her client’s lives. She teaches you the exact steps you need to take to reduce stress for good regardless of the chaos around you.

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Crying For All the Right Reasons Yoga Adventures Continued
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Yoga Adventures Continued