Last week, I had a series of clients who talked about biding their time in order to get through rather miserable situations. One client was going to stay in a very unhappy marriage for a few more years…for the kids. Another high-level executive was going to stay in a tough job situation for another two years. He was just going to “tolerate” it until retirement. Another client was going to stay in an office in which she was paid less and bullied frequently because she only had three more years until retirement.
Each of these people were willing to give up the next few years of their lives and be miserable in the hopes that after that things would improve. That’s a few years that they can never get back. A few years of feeling physically and emotionally drained. A few years of not feeling joy in their lives. A few years of just tolerating life and not living those years with happiness, adventure, and excitement. They are biding time. And what if after all that biding, they aren’t happy with the next stage? What if they die right after all that time biding? What if they get sick? Would they regret not taking those years of unhappiness back? I would!
The Folly In Biding Our Time
Here’s the thing. Life is short and fragile and unsure. How dare we give any time away to waiting for the next stage and not enjoying it right this moment. Life doesn’t begin after retirement, or with a new job, or out of a relationship. Life is right this minute. What if today is all we have? Should we waste it in the hopes that we will have more time later and we will make that time better?Find a way to find joy in your life right now. Now is all any of us have and we owe it to ourselves to not waste it. #happiness #stress #time Click To Tweet
All three of these wonderful people, as well as the rest of us, have two choices: change our circumstances or change how we look at our circumstances. That’s it. That’s all we have. If you can’t leave your job for some reason, then find a way to be happy anyway. If you’re stuck in a tough relationship, either leave or find a way to improve it. Yes, it takes two to improve a relationship, but half of that two trying is always better than no one trying at all.
Biding time is not the way to live a life. Living is the way to live a life. Really, truly living. Don’t wait until your kids get older, or you make more money, or you’re single, or you’re retired. Don’t wait for any of that. Find a way to find joy in your life right now. Now is all any of us have and we owe it to ourselves to not waste it.
Did I mention my fourth client from last week? He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Guess what he wanted to talk about in our session? He wanted to talk about how to live his life right this minute. He brought in his bucket list and we talked about how he could start that bucket list right now. He wanted to talk about what he could contribute to the world, how he could enjoy life and the adventures it holds. We didn’t spend one second talking about biding time. There was no time for that.
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC
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Smart Women, Inspired Lives: How to Be Happy & Confident
by Dr. Lisa Kaplin
Do you long for more energy? Do you wish you could walk into any room and feel happy and confident? Do you simply want to enjoy your life more – personally and professionally? You can. Too many women today are doing more, but feeling less satisfied. Life doesn’t have to be that way. With small tweaks and simple strategies, you can enjoy a great life with soaring self-confidence, a good sense of well-being, and plenty of laughter. This easy-to-read yet profoundly impactful book will be all you need to join the tribe of smart women living inspired lives. Your life gets better right now.
About Lisa Kaplin, Psy. D, PCC
Certified Life Coach and Psychologist at Smart Women Inspired Lives.
I’m the proud owner of Smart Women Inspired Lives, where I help overwhelmed and exhausted women move from the feeling of being “stuck” into a life filled with calm, confidence, and joy. In addition to the posts and articles I write, I offer individual and group life coaching sessions, classes and speaking engagement opportunities.
Gain the Confidence You’ve Always Wanted
Are you stuck in a place where you don’t feel good about yourself, feel stuck, and don’t feel happy or fulfilled? Whatever it is that keeps you from happiness can be solved. It’s true! And it can usually be solved within a short amount of time.
Many women have either lost confidence in themselves or realize that they’ve never had it. They are afraid to ask for what they want, they don’t feel good about themselves, and they find that just getting through the day is exhausting.
Lisa’s unique coaching around happiness, fulfillment, and self-esteem is a deep dive into insightful, permanent changes in how you feel about yourself, how you approach life, and how to take care of yourself in the healthiest possible way.
|Efforting or Not for 2018||Stealing My Joy|
|Efforting or Not for 2018|
|Stealing My Joy|