People often ask me what kind of issues or topics I work on with my clients. Although we cover the gamut from relationships to work and everything in between, there is one topic that appears to be epidemic for my clients and that’s guilt. They feel guilty about their parenting, their work (or lack thereof), their relationships, their weight, their friendships, their parents, and that they are not as happy as they think they should be.
Did you read that last line? They feel guilty for not being happy! I get it. I used to feel that way. Guilt overwhelmed me; “I should be spending more time with my kids and my husband.” “I should be working harder at advancing my career.” ” I should call my friends and spend more time with them.” And on and on it went. Did that guilt motivate me to do anything? No. It essentially kept me stuck in my own unhappiness for a very long time.
Replacing Your Running Guilt Commentary
Recently, a client was going over all of the things that she felt guilty about and how, even after she makes a decision about something, she feels guilty for possibly having made the wrong decision. This doom loop that she was stuck in left her feeling unhappy and worthless. We decided that she needed to replace her “running guilt commentary” with something much more useful.
So she came up with a replacement line that she was going to say (either out loud or to herself) every time she started the running guilt commentary. She decided to say, “The decision has been made. NO GUILT!” At first she said it without much enthusiasm, but by the end of our meeting she was belting it out with some serious power.The decision has been made. NO GUILT! #guilt #happiness #self-affirmation Click To Tweet
A lot of us default to guilt as an automatic response to almost every situation. It is, however, possible to change our default by replacing it with something more practical and building the muscle of our new default language. So are you ready to give up guilt and the running guilt commentary? If so, pick out a short line that you are going to say to yourself every single time you fall into the guilt trap. Every. Single. Time. Repeat, repeat, and repeat until you have taught yourself how to get out of the running guilt commentary. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC
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Smart Women, Inspired Lives: How to Be Happy & Confident
by Dr. Lisa Kaplin
Do you long for more energy? Do you wish you could walk into any room and feel happy and confident? Do you simply want to enjoy your life more – personally and professionally? You can. Too many women today are doing more, but feeling less satisfied. Life doesn’t have to be that way. With small tweaks and simple strategies, you can enjoy a great life with soaring self-confidence, a good sense of well-being, and plenty of laughter. This easy-to-read yet profoundly impactful book will be all you need to join the tribe of smart women living inspired lives. Your life gets better right now.
About Lisa Kaplin, Psy. D, PCC
Certified Life Coach and Psychologist at Smart Women Inspired Lives.
I’m the proud owner of Smart Women Inspired Lives, where I help overwhelmed and exhausted women move from the feeling of being “stuck” into a life filled with calm, confidence, and joy. In addition to the posts and articles I write, I offer individual and group life coaching sessions, classes and speaking engagement opportunities.
Gain the Confidence You’ve Always Wanted
Are you stuck in a place where you don’t feel good about yourself, feel stuck, and don’t feel happy or fulfilled? Whatever it is that keeps you from happiness can be solved. It’s true! And it can usually be solved within a short amount of time.
Many women have either lost confidence in themselves or realize that they’ve never had it. They are afraid to ask for what they want, they don’t feel good about themselves, and they find that just getting through the day is exhausting.
Lisa’s unique coaching around happiness, fulfillment, and self-esteem is a deep dive into insightful, permanent changes in how you feel about yourself, how you approach life, and how to take care of yourself in the healthiest possible way.
|Being Everything to Everybody||The Five Year Review|
|Being Everything to Everybody|
|The Five Year Review|