How many of us have felt that we could have handled a situation with more assertiveness? How often have you regretted not being more assertive? You aren't alone. Assertiveness is a great concept but sometimes it's hard to put into action. Many of us never learned how to be assertive and thus we move through life either in passive reaction […]
I spend a lot of time with really smart, accomplished women who are really lacking in assertiveness. When I ask these brilliant women why they aren't more assertive, I get two common answers; 1) What if I'm wrong? 2) I don't want to hurt anyone else. Let's unpack these a little bit.
"What if I'm wrong?" Why are women so afraid […]
Recently my friend, Joy, told me this story. Joy was working sixty plus hours a week doing work that she loved, but not getting paid what she deserved and certainly not getting the respect that she deserved. She asked for a raise numerous times. She was denied. She asked for an assistant. She was denied. She asked for some respect. […]
Are you confident? Are you sure? If you are confident, where did you get that confidence? These are common questions that I hear from women in my life and often a difficult question to answer. It’s a shame that there isn’t a confidence store. You know, kind of like Nordstrom’s but with different variations of confidence. There’s the appearance section, […]
Clients and friends tell me all the time about things that go awry in their lives and those moments in which everything seems to be going wrong. I ask them what they do in those moments and their answers vary, but more often than not they tell me that they just keep going. They run errands for their family, they […]
“What if my relationship ends?” “What if my kids fail?” “What if I don’t get that job?” “What if I make a mistake?” “What if?” “What if?” “What if?” These are words that I hear from clients almost every single day. They are understandable words. They are normal thoughts. They are the things that we all worry about. Yet how […]
Today is the day my daughter graduates from high school. I'm proud of my girl and can't wait to see what she tackles next. I'm also a bit jealous. In four years, my girl will be finishing college in a world so dramatically different from mine at her age. When I finished college, I took an administration job at a […]
Losing my voice caught me off guard in that I thought I'd had it all figured out. My voice was strong, my confidence high, my place in the world solid and strong. Then all of a sudden it was gone; my voice, my confidence, my ability to stay strong even in the face of disapproval or disagreement from others. How […]
Here’s what my clients and friends tell me almost every day: “I’m stuck and I absolutely can’t get out of it.” They may be stuck in a relationship or in a bad mood or a job situation, but they absolutely feel stuck. Here’s the problem. They keep telling themselves that they can’t get out of it. The single best way […]
Dear Women of the World,
Please start speaking up to ask for what you want. People can neither read your mind nor just know what you want. They can't. It's time for you to calmly and pleasantly ask for what you want.
Here are some examples:
"I would like a raise because I have proven my worth. Let me […]