If you’ve been reading my blog posts, you know that I’ve become slightly obsessed with yoga, particularly hot yoga. I’ve had a series of interesting yoga adventures that have both humbled and invigorated me. However, last week I outdid myself in a yoga class. It will be a class that I’ll remember for years. So, I’m guessing, will my classmates and teacher.
Admittedly, I’ve been getting a little confident (read cocky) about yoga. I’m feeling stronger, more flexible, and more balanced than I have in years. This cockiness may have ultimately been my downfall, but who can say for sure. We were about fifteen minutes into class and at one of my favorite parts of the class, dancer pose. Here’s how I picture myself in dancer pose:
I’m positive I don’t really look like that, but I feel fabulous in the pose.
Anyway, I’m fully in the pose (Well, fully for me.) and thinking about what a yoga star I am, when I begin to lose my balance. I try to right myself, but instead go flying into the lovely young yogi next to me. This is no exaggeration. I crash land on her water bottle and mat. The noise I make as I splatter to the ground jars the whole class to stare at me. The instructor runs over to check on me and help me up. My knee is killing me, my classmates look horrified, and the man in front of me is trying desperately not to laugh out loud. Essentially, I am in yoga hell.
I get up and pretend that all is well. I’m positive that I am bright red and sweating, not from the heat in the class, but rather the shame in my body. The class continues on and I act like all is well. However, my mind is going CRAZY! The vitriol coming at me from my own thoughts is true bullying. I’ve never spoken to another person the way I’m currently speaking to myself. Luckily, I catch it quickly and insist that I stop the madness and start being kind to myself.
A Fall Is Just a Fall
This leads to an outrageous wave of rationalization that sounds like this, “No wonder I fell. I’m so exhausted.” “I wouldn’t have fallen if the guy in front of me hadn’t been so obnoxious and distracting.” “I’ve been working so hard lately and that’s caught up to me.” On and on my rationalizing went. Here’s the thing…most of what I was saying to myself was true, but it was still rationalization. Here’s the big question, “Why did I have to rationalize anything?”Why isn’t a fall just part of life that doesn’t need justification? #embarrassment #selfesteem Click To Tweet
Why wasn’t it okay for me to fall? Why does it have to be good or bad or right or wrong versus just a fall? Why are falls bad? (Please don’t ask the woman who I crashed into.) Why isn’t a fall just part of life that doesn’t need either belittlement or justification? Why isn’t a fall just a fall and not something I need to obsess over?
I’m not sure I fully have the answer, but my sweet yoga teacher, who checked on me again after class, said, “It’s all part of yoga.” She is so right. Falling is part of yoga and it’s part of life. It’s part of the adventure and so much more fun when we think of it that way. My body is healed from the spectacular yoga fall and it turns out that my pride is almost healed as well.
Stay tuned, I’m positive that there are more adventures and spectacular falls in life and in yoga. The adventure continues.
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC
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About Lisa Kaplin, Psy. D, PCC
Certified Life Coach and Psychologist at Smart Women Inspired Lives.
I’m the proud owner of Smart Women Inspired Lives, where I help overwhelmed and exhausted women move from the feeling of being “stuck” into a life filled with calm, confidence, and joy. In addition to the posts and articles I write, I offer individual and group life coaching sessions, classes and speaking engagement opportunities.
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